2 parents

Some days I don’t know

If I have 2 parents

Or 1

If I’m happy

If I’m numb

Some days it feels

Like warm blankets

And setting suns

Nice sofa

A place I call home

Or other days

I feel like a baby

Nowhere to go

Cos I cant run

Some days you hug me

Tell me you love me

Other days you do that and

Go

Some days you lie there

Numb and trying to forget

I see that you’re human

Not mum

Just a person

But I wish you weren’t

I wish you would wrap me up

19 but I still need love

Some days I wish he would call

Dad,

Sometimes I wish he had a name

One that didn’t make me want to throw up

I sit here

Trying to be present

5’2 standing on the earth

I see 5 things, touch 4

I can’t stop leaving this place

To go and see her

14 years old

When I felt most loved

I can’t stop leaving

To see him

In his little

Shitty flat, watching channel 4

I wish I could be here

Hear 3 things

Taste 2

But I can’t stop leaving

I don’t really like it here

I can’t stay

Girl on the train, bus

Either way I’m leaving the station

Train I didn’t pay for

Ticket I stole

Empty carriages

I couldn’t find the last 1

1 thing I needed to smell

Can never tell

If I’m broken

Or simply nothing at all