This isn’t what you think it is.
The silent majority; a a metaphor, I imagine that this could be the things that your mind screams but neither your body nor your mouth says.
Deep inside I am deeply terrified, the fear is a flaking, dank wallpaper with an unforgiving, displeasing grip on the wall. But that is only in my mind. Outside, I am scarcely scared, decorated as if I’ve just been newly fixed, arranged together, in reverie with myself and my dreams.
If only. If I fail at this the one thing that I am good at, if I don’t do amazingly, then what am I, when can I have faith in myself? I am destined to be inconsistent. But that is only in my mind.
It will all be quiet in those stressful times, when we are all together in unpoken, and yet inconspicuous worry, because when we are scared we cannot talk, it is then that we cannot resist but to give in to the silent majority of humans, we are all guilty. Our mouth cannot speak the worry, but yet it cannot speak anything else, because we cannot fathom something without fault, without inducing anxiety in the pits of our stomachs. When we are all scared of falling, of the next steps, we will be unable to speak, because we cannot say it, and would we have anything else to say if it is all that we are thinking?
It is times like those, sat rigidly, when you reprimand with an air of severity to yourself- ‘I cannot show my weakness, for if I do not then how will they know that I am weak?’- it is then that we remain silent in the hospital waiting room, it is times like these that we show no signs of livelihood within ourselves. We play to our silent majority, we discover nothing but fear inside ourselves, and would not dare have anyone else do the same.
I am terrified of saying that I am good at something, and failing at the next hurdle, to have people mock me, to be disappointed, to see that I am imperfect.
But, what are fears if not irrational? Of course, they know that we are scared, they know that we are not perfect, they know that we would not dare to admit that we are good because we are too proud to exacerbate our next failure, but we dare not realise it.
This time it is our mind and our mouths which exhibit the silent majority, not daring to think that which others dare not say.