Here’s what I’m looking forward to this year.

This year will be one of growth and of getting results, of being resilient and bulletproof. So here are the lessons that I need to think more about and to work on this year; here are things that we all need to focus on, all the time.

1) Stop saying that you hate yourself. Because you don’t. Because the first step to happiness is self love and positive thinking, you would benefit from that. It dampens the mood and upsets people.

2) Just because someone else is good at something or pretty, it doesn’t mean that you aren’t. It just means that we are human and you are not the only person in the world. It means that there are 8 billion of us, so more than one person has a lovely nose and can do maths. Appreciate beauty, don’t fight for it. Stop looking and feel it instead. You are the only one on the battlefield but you are not the only one fighting.

3) Listen to yourself. You made mistakes, perhaps the biggest one of your life, perhaps not. Listen to yourself and do what you want. Never go with the flow, never agree just to agree. Feel your instincts. Learn from them rather than just passing them by. You are a better person than you were before.

4) You don’t need to put so much pressure on yourself. We want to do the right thing, we all do. I want to make only the right choices and I want to succeed. I want to have a good life so much and I want to feel secure. I want a family. I want to do the right thing so much that decisions become impulsive and relaxing isn’t in my vocabulary. Balance work and relaxation- when you do one you get worse at the other. If you love what you’re doing, if you care, you’ll be fine. That’s how it’s worked before, that’s how it works now. Ask yourself what you need to do to feel better, and what you need to do to achieve more.Do them both, don’t overthink it.

5) Please keep fighting. Keep doing what you know you need to do. But remember that you also need to relax. Get it done, and then it’ll be over. Then relax, feel proud. Do things to make you feel proud- push through and just do it. No excuses anymore. If you want it, get it.

6) You can forgive but it never has to go back to what it was. And I think that this is very important. Forgiveness banishes anger- it means being civil and no having red flags raise high every time you see them. It means not being jealous or mad when they have what you want. Get rid of the strong premonition that forgiveness means being their friend or their lover again. You can forgive and have it be how you want it to be at exactly the same time.

7) Not everyone has to love you. You’re not perfect and you’re not the only one who knows this-not simply because no one ever can be, but because you’re human. Part of them disliking you will be because of jealously, others from grudges- it’s the way humans work. They might even feel nothing towards you. A lot of this will hurt, prepare yourself for that, and then let it go- it simply doesn’t matter. Ask yourself why you need them to like you before you start fretting. And if you start fretting remember that they’re not the only person in the world. It hurts when they dislike you, I think it’s innate, but that being said, it’s okay, too.

8) Be careful.  Of what you say and of when you say it. Be less impulsive- be spontaneous, be fun, be loud, but ask yourself: who does this hurt. If you have a name, don’t do it.

9) People don’t always need your advice. Just listen to them talk. Tell them that it’s bad, tell them that you understand and tell them that you hope it goes better next time. Humans look just for comfort sometimes and that’s okay. It might hurt to be bland and to reply like a robot, you just try to help, but sometimes you don’t need to. Sometimes it doesn’t come across this way, that’s okay. You’re not always needed.

10) Don’t stop for anyone. They’ll get mad if you talk about your achievements, and annoyed if you tell them how to do something- but who the fuck cares? You did it…. go you! It doesn’t matter if it gets to them, as long as it wasn’t insulting. Please, just love yourself- you need to get back to that place. Write more of your book.

 

 

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